The Art of Failure

Last Sunday I tried to pass my 6th dan, but was unsuccessful. Failing is never fun, and we generally feel disappointed, sometimes even upset at ourselves (but please avoid putting the blame on the jury or your opponents at all costs). But once those feelings fade, we should remember that there is much more to learn in failing than in success.

Oh, wait a minute. Is that even true?

I believe that isn’t always true. What we can learn from it is directly correlated to our readiness to investigate our kendo, find new perspectives, listen to our sensei and senpai and improve our keiko. Without the right attitude, we can fail over and over again.

In these difficult times, we often turn to our sensei and senpai for advice. It seems natural. I like to imagine a map as an analogy: there are paths that have been walked by countless great kenshi before us. These trails allow us to progress swiftly and to not get lost. Maybe different sensei walk slightly different trails, but they all head in the same direction. The main role of our sensei is to show us these trails, with their explanations and demonstrations and through hard keiko of course. Thus, the map becomes clearer and the path more apparent.

Yet, in every single dojo, no matter how competent the sensei is, some students seem lost. Something is missing.

I believe there is something our sensei can’t help us with, maybe like a therapist can’t give us the solution to our own problems. That is: We have to figure out where we are currently standing on the map. Most of us get lost at some point, and our sensei has probably been signaling to us where the right path is for a while. So why are we still struggling in uncharted territory?

An old poem about the sword says, “Ken to wa kokoro nari” meaning “the sword is the heart”. If you want to correct your sword, you must correct you heart first. A failed shinsa is a great opportunity to investigate our kendo uncompromisingly and discover what in our heart caused us to get lost. I feel more and more that this is our personal journey, one that we must walk alone with a humble attitude. This is a big part of the concept of kendo, “to develop the human character through the application of the principles of the katana.”

From there, we will be in a better place to follow the teachings of our sensei, and move in the right direction once more!